Becoming.
I am becoming.
This past year has been such a journey
for me. It's been like taking a journey through an undiscovered
mountain range. I am the explorer.
Or sometimes, I am lifted up on the
wings of deity and carried to the highest summit.
At times on my journey I have been
struck with awe at the breathtaking beauty of the moments that
surround me. The vibrant colors and jagged rough edges of life touch
my heart as I acknowledge the diversity of experience.
At other times, the sharp pains and
darkened paths have caused me to fall to my knees and beg for
guidance.
And for a light.
Occasionally I am struck with the light in an instant, like lightening, and I am unable to deny what I am supposed to do.
Other times I gain the light gradually. Slowly. One color at a time.
Like a sunrise.
And sometimes that leaves me questioning, until I can see the full splendor and magnificence that lay before me.
The journey at times has broken me
down.
It has brought me to my lowest levels.
At times, like the mountains around me,
I have felt as though I were crumbling.... and I have had to question
who I am. I have had to find
who I am.
Without the
security of everything you know. Without the confidence from
everything you love, you become vulnerable.
You become
moldable.
Your raw potential
becomes exposed. And yet you must realize that without an artist,
you will never become a masterpiece. When you recognize this... and
you work with the Artist, together, you can become beautiful.
But it is not
always easy.
He never promised
that it would be easy. Just that it would be possible.
As you are broken
down, you begin to wonder if you are ever going to be able to stand
again. You wonder if you are doomed to be as the broken pile of
rubble at the base of the mountain.
If you are wise,
however, you realize that in reality, this is seldom the fate of
anything that is broken down.
Our
muscles for example. When you exercise, your muscles break down, but
your body uses this as a tool. It takes the opportunity to rebuild,
renew, and become
stronger. You gain muscle.
After
an earthquake, architects and builders take the opportunity to learn,
rethink, and rebuild
even bigger, even better
structures. The building becomes stronger.
After a tragedy.
After a heartbreak. After we feel so broken down that we do not
think we can make it any longer, our soul must do this too. It
rebuilds. It renews. Our soul relearns. Heavenly Father uses this
as a means for our soul to become stronger.
We
gain character.
And we continue
on.
As we
walk, as we experience, we learn what we like and don't like. What makes us happy. We learn what we
want. We learn what we want to be. We start to discover what we
need to be.
And as we begin to
discover and explore these new facets of our personality and who we
are, a field opens before us and we begin to gain focus.
We find what is
important.
We start to gain
confidence:
Confidence in
relying on the Savior, because by this point, you realize that it is
Him who guided you to this point.
You recognize the
field as one of endless possibilities.
And you find
yourself full of hope.
You find the love
restored that once you lost.
You find that love
in your interaction with others.
You find that love
for life.
You find that you
are loved and worth being loved....
Not because you
weren't before.
But because you
might have been temporarily blinded to these realities.
Everyone deserves
to be loved.
And everyone
deserves to know that they are loved.
And everyone
deserves to find themselves and to find God.
And guess what?
He's right there
waiting.....
He has already
found you. You were never lost to Him. You were never below his
reach.
He was there the
whole time.
So let yourself
take his hand.
Let Him lead you
on a journey.
A beautiful
journey.
A strengthening
journey.
A journey which
you will never forget:
A journey to find
yourself.
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