Day #31: The red pants.

I just feel really good about the fact that I had these red pants before it was the "in" thing to do...
I'm just sayin'.

However, I have since retired these pants.
And I am without colored pants now.



But they made me feel really awesome while they lasted. (: <3

Can you tell?

Day #30: The Difference.

Have you ever had a crummy day where you're just a little short of miserable?

I've found that there's usually only one thing that can make me feel better on such days (aside from just going to vegging in sweats, watching byu approved soap operas, and sleep anyway) and that is people.

Maybe it's just because I'm an extrovert and therefore naturally energized by other people.

Or maybe it's because there is something in each of us that hungers for love and interaction with others.

Sometimes all it takes is a long phone call and just knowing that someone cares.
Sometimes it just takes a little bit of laughing a lot with your roommates.
Sometimes it just takes a walk and an hour and a half of getting something off your chest that you've had weighing on you for too long.
Sometimes it's a milkshake run, an ICEE run, and snickers bar/visit, or a Krispy Kreme doughnut.
Or one of your best friends and his family taking you out to dinner and buying you chips? Not even just because you're a poor, starving college student, but because they love you and just take the best care of you.
Or going to Pizza Pie Cafe with some friends even though you don't feel like spending money.

There is something to be said for spending time with the people you love.  There is something to be said for feeling a connection with someone (or multiple people).

And I think the most interesting thing is... the more and more I think about it....... everyone needs someone.
I don't mean a romantic someone... I just mean that person that cares that you exist. The person that makes a difference.

I don't think I'm the only person who's been afraid of being creepy or someone taking something the wrong way, but we should probably get over those feelings.
Because our efforts towards someone else could mean the world to that person.
No one dislikes being told nice things or getting letters/notes.  No one doesn't need to know that they are loved or be told that they're being thought about.

Everyone needs to be checked on and given a hug.  Everyone deserves to be told when they look nice.  Everyone needs to know that someone cares about them.

Everyone needs a someone.

And the thing is... we can be that someone.

We can be the difference.

And I am so incredibly thankful for all of the people in my life who have been that difference.  From people who have been in my life as long as I remember, to Brian, the kid I met on the bus once that was only in my life for three hours, to the new friends that I've just made recently..... This is dedicated to all of you who have touched my life.

And you may not even realize the impact you've had.....

This is for you <3

Day #29: Srsly though...

Look at this baby!

Look.
At.
This.
Baby.

Srsly though. LOOK AT THIS BABY!!!! AND TELL ME IT'S NOT THE CUTEST THING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!!

Also, today i had another one of those beautiful moments.
A moment when everything just aligned.
A moment when I re-realized that I am going into the right field.
When I remembered just how much I am going to love it.

Because I already love it.

And it is only beginning <3

Day #28: The grand adventure.

Becoming.

I am becoming.

This past year has been such a journey for me. It's been like taking a journey through an undiscovered mountain range. I am the explorer.

Like any mountain range, there have been ups and there have been downs, but unlike other mountain ranges, mine is unending. There is no definite number of slopes, and a peak can turn to a cliff within an instant.

Or sometimes, I am lifted up on the wings of deity and carried to the highest summit.

At times on my journey I have been struck with awe at the breathtaking beauty of the moments that surround me. The vibrant colors and jagged rough edges of life touch my heart as I acknowledge the diversity of experience.

At other times, the sharp pains and darkened paths have caused me to fall to my knees and beg for guidance.

And for a light.

Occasionally I am struck with the light in an instant, like lightening, and I am unable to deny what I am supposed to do.

Other times I gain the light gradually. Slowly. One color at a time.

Like a sunrise.

And sometimes that leaves me questioning, until I can see the full splendor and magnificence that lay before me.

The journey at times has broken me down.

It has brought me to my lowest levels.

At times, like the mountains around me, I have felt as though I were crumbling.... and I have had to question who I am. I have had to find who I am.

Without the security of everything you know. Without the confidence from everything you love, you become vulnerable.

You become moldable.

Your raw potential becomes exposed. And yet you must realize that without an artist, you will never become a masterpiece. When you recognize this... and you work with the Artist, together, you can become beautiful.

But it is not always easy.

He never promised that it would be easy. Just that it would be possible.

As you are broken down, you begin to wonder if you are ever going to be able to stand again. You wonder if you are doomed to be as the broken pile of rubble at the base of the mountain.

If you are wise, however, you realize that in reality, this is seldom the fate of anything that is broken down.

Our muscles for example. When you exercise, your muscles break down, but your body uses this as a tool. It takes the opportunity to rebuild, renew, and become stronger. You gain muscle.

After an earthquake, architects and builders take the opportunity to learn, rethink, and rebuild even bigger, even better structures. The building becomes stronger.

After a tragedy. After a heartbreak. After we feel so broken down that we do not think we can make it any longer, our soul must do this too. It rebuilds. It renews. Our soul relearns. Heavenly Father uses this as a means for our soul to become stronger.

We gain character.

And we continue on.

As we walk, as we experience, we learn what we like and don't like. What makes us happy. We learn what we want. We learn what we want to be. We start to discover what we need to be.

And as we begin to discover and explore these new facets of our personality and who we are, a field opens before us and we begin to gain focus.

We find what is important.

We start to gain confidence:

Confidence in relying on the Savior, because by this point, you realize that it is Him who guided you to this point.

You recognize the field as one of endless possibilities.

And you find yourself full of hope.

You find the love restored that once you lost.

You find that love in your interaction with others.

You find that love for life.

You find that you are loved and worth being loved....

Not because you weren't before.

But because you might have been temporarily blinded to these realities.

Everyone deserves to be loved.

And everyone deserves to know that they are loved.

And everyone deserves to find themselves and to find God.

And guess what?

He's right there waiting.....

He has already found you. You were never lost to Him. You were never below his reach.

He was there the whole time.

So let yourself take his hand.

Let Him lead you on a journey.

A beautiful journey.

A strengthening journey.

A journey which you will never forget:

A journey to find yourself.

Day #27: The P.E. teacher.

That awkward moment when you really think the attractive P.E. teacher at the elementary school you volunteer at is flirting with you.....

and then he mentions his fiancee's little sister............. and then you wonder why he was being so friendly................

................................oh utah county........

Boys: It would be most helpful to girls if you would wear an engagement ring of some sort... just sayin'.

..........

Day #26: Names

Kacy Jae Carr.
Stephen and Kathy's Daughter. Sydni, Scott, and Kelley's sister.
Kay-Raw. Kace. Kacy-jae-cee.
Miss Lady. Red Chip. Cake-y.

Names.
Names are important to us.
They are specific to each person, typically stay with us for a period of time, and give us an identity.  It is how we come to recognize ourselves.
It makes us feel good when those with whom we come in contact remember our names and call us by name.
My young women's leader once told us that our name is our integrity.
What do people think about when they hear our name?
Do they think good things, or negative things?
Or perhaps more importantly, what do we think when we hear our own name?
Elder Dallin H. Oaks once said this in an interview,

"There are also people who consider the defining fact of their existence that they are from Texas or that they were in the United States Marines. Or they are red-headed, or they are the best basketball player that ever played for such-and-such a high school. People can adopt a characteristic as the defining example of their existence and often those characteristics are physical.

We have the agency to choose which characteristics will define us; those choices are not thrust upon us.

The ultimate defining fact for all of us is that we are children of Heavenly Parents, born on this earth for a purpose, and born with a divine destiny. Whenever any of those other notions, whatever they may be, gets in the way of that ultimate defining fact, then it is destructive and it leads us down the wrong path."

So why this tangent on names?
And what realization did I make? Well I'm getting there.

I flipped open to Mosiah chapter 5 today for my scripture study and this is what I read:

"And under this head ye are made free, and there is no other head whereby ye can be made free.  There is no other name given whereby salvation cometh; therefore, I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ, all you that have entered into the covenant with God that ye should be obedient unto the end of your lives.  And it shall come to pass that whosoever doeth this shall be found at the right hand of God, for he shall know the name by which he is called; for he shall be called by the name of Christ." (Mosiah 5:8-9)

This is what got me thinking about names, their implications, and how important they are.
Shouldn't the most important defining characteristic by which we are known be that of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  That IS what we covenant to do every time we partake of the sacrament. He is the Light, the Life, and the Way.
As Elder Oaks said, we often get so wrapped up in the "I am a theater kid." "I am a jock." "I am a ballerina."
Yet as I make this list, I cannot help but be reminded of another name by which the Savior is known.
Is it not the Savior who is known as the great I AM?
And we are to take upon us His name.

Let being His disciple and being a child of God be our defining quality. Let us serve Him and always strive to live worthy of His name and become comfortable with being called by His name.

"...that ye hear and know the voice by which ye shall be called, and also, the name by which ye shall be called, and also, the name by which he shall call you.  For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?" (Mosiah 5:12-13)

What does our Savior and our Father in Heaven think when they hear our name?
I certainly hope that they look on us and see our greatest potentials.  I envision they are probably sitting there cheering for us and hoping that we will live up to our capabilities and gifts.
I also hope that I am honoring their names.
I hope I am doing with their name what they would want me to be doing.
I hope I am living worthy enough and close enough to His spirit that I will recognize when He calls me.
I hope we ALL are.

May we come to know the Savior enough and strive to live in such a way that those who know us will want to know Him more by the way we choose to live.

I know that Jesus is the Christ and that he did indeed die for us. I know that He lives.  I know that the atonement is real.  It empowers, it strengthens, and it eases our pains.  And I know that it is through Him that we can live again and return home to our Father in Heaven.  We do not have to do this alone.
The Lord is here.
He is waiting.
We cannot make it back without Him.
Turn to Him.
This is my testimony, and I close this message in His name,the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Day #25: A tribute...

This post is a tribute to my friend who gives amazing birthday gifts.
Why?
No it's not my birthday, but I wore the latest gift he gave me to school today (:

This is for you Zac Cooper.

One of the reasons his gifts are SO perfect is because he just thinks, "Kacy will LOVE this."
And he is always right.
Are the gifts elaborate? No.
Are they expensive? Probably not.
But they are SO thoughtful! They are things that he just knows that I'll love. Which is just as good in my book.

That is why Zac Cooper is the reigning world champion for best birthday gift giver three years running.

"I'd never eat your brain."
He MADE me this shirt based on "The Zombie Song" by Stephanie Mabey and the artwork of Maddy Ashton.

Zac and I also LOVE doing Richard Simmons.

Cousin Ed came in a tank with two frogs that I named Sonny and Cher... then I released them to fend for themselves in Stansbury Lake.

This is exactly what it looks like: a bedazzled stapler with colored staples. When I see that pink staple in my papers... I just love it.

Day #24: "Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee..."

This arrangement of this song never ceases to amaze me.
Or to touch me with the Spirit.

"For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads." ~ Doctrine and Covenants 25:12

That is this song.
It is a prayer. It is worship.
It is a cry for the help that we all must receive from our Savior, Jesus Christ.

"Jesus sought me when a stranger wandering from the fold of God.  He to rescue me from danger interposed His precious blood."

Enjoy this version of this beautiful song.
BYU combined choirs; arranged by the one and only Mack Wilberg